Wooden Spoons and Chardonnay

So, today has been a smelly shitfest of bunches of shitty things. What shitty things do you ask? Wellllll, let's start off with Chicago O'Hare. Chicago O'Hare has got to be THE giantest vagina of vagina airports. It constantly closes. Today at 11:04 a.m. a moth farted. It did. And the airport shut down. It fucking shut down. I had 8 calls in a row with people stuck all over the Northern Hemisphere who were trying to connect via O'Pussy Hare. Because of the moth. Ok, so maybe it wasn't exactly JUST a moth. There was a storm. OMG. A storm. So the airport shuts down and basically fucks up EVERYBODY's day. Especially mine. You have no idea how many people I said, "Just cool your heels and have a drink" to....I did. And mostly they agreed..... At the end of my shitfest of a day, I decided to walk to my mailbox and see if the 3 million dollar check I've been waiting for has arrived and take my stupid dog with me. Well, I poured a glass of wine and wa...

Sadly enough I have to report that I rarely cook anymore.  Why you might ask? Well, because my husband is now a Vegan and I'm not. End of story. Well, so maybe I lied a little bit, I guess you can say I do still cook. I just don't cook anything edible. At least not to normal people. I can't express enough how sick I am of beans, rice, tofu, pasta, vegetables, potatoes and wraps.  That's all I ever cook anymore. So, what do I eat? Toast, usually. It's sad, sad, sad. Someone needs to come and take me out to dinner. For a real dinner. I'm hungry. So, I really loved this blog and no longer want to ignore it, but since I don't cook anymore, I'm not sure what to do about it. Then I looked at the title again. Wooden Spoons and Chardonnay.....Wooden Spoons and Chardonnay...hmmm....I supposed I can call this a blog about drinking wine and maybe stirring it with a wooden spoon...or drinking wine and beating people with a wooden spoon.  Anyhow, it got me to t...