How bad does your cooking suck?

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Not only does her cooking suck, but so does her taste in lingerie!

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THE best ever salmon glaze/sauce

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So, when we were in Alaska, we went to the Liarsville Salmon Bake in Ketchikan. I have to say that it was probably one of the best meals I have had anywhere, anytime. The salmon, was heaven, since obviously it was local, but the sauce was soooo good. The cook told me the recipe, but by the time I got home I had forgotten it. I searched the web and finally found it.  I'm soooo happy I found it. I will find somewhere on here to post it..... It has come to my attention that I NEVER posted the recipe!   OMG.  DUH.  So here it is:  In a double boiler melt:  1/2 LB of butter 2-3 Cups of brown sugar 1/4 cup of lemon juice 1/4 cup of pineapple juice Add the juices after the butter and brown sugar has combined.   Simmer on low heat, stirring frequently.   I like to marinate the salmon with some of the sauce and then when I'm cooking the salmon, baste with the sauce and you should still have enough to serve on the s...
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Chicken Alfredo that would send Paula Deen into a diabetic coma. (Can I airmail chicken alfredo?)

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So, tonight my son came up to me and asked me if I'd make some Chicken Alfredo. I almost told him to go fuck himself because I'm a bit on the pissy side today, but I thought, "What the hell."  Since my husband has been on this new "I can't eat anything but Alpo and Oranges diet", my kitchen has been boring as fuck. Seriously. My butter hasn't seen the light of day. I haven't bought heavy cream in 3 months. My parmesan cheese has been frozen in the freezer and my olive oil asked me for a divorce. Bit of a funk, eh? So, I ran to the store, fast. The way a pedophile runs to the nearest playground and I went NUTS buying GOOD shit! $7 parmesan! Heavy Cream! Cream cheese! 7 cheese shredded blend mix! WINE! Chicken bouillion and EGG freaking noodles. I had a culinary orgasm. Right in aisle 7. The biggest thing I had to debate was how many bottles of wine I needed to buy. I mean, I knew afterall, that I needed some wine in the sauce, I just couldn...
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