Wooden Spoons and Chardonnay

So, again I am going to post something totally unrelated to my cooking, but funny as fuck. So I figure, who gives a shit. I'll still post recipes and in between, I'll tell funny stories. Met some friends tonight for some drinks and I actually ordered some food. Not that I'm a restaurant food snob or anything like that, I just don't normally eat things other people prepare....I'm odd like that. Not in a "straight jacket" kind of way, but still. I like to know where my shit comes from. So, I order, get this, a Philly Cheese Steak Platter AND 6 Teriyaki wings! Holy shit. LOL. Too much food. I manage to choke down the cheese steak, which actually had some good meat. The fries were cold as shit and I had to go in search of my own ketchup. Who the hell gives someone a platter with fries and doesn't set a fucking bottle of ketchup on the table? UGH. So, after I demolished the cheese steak platter, I managed to nibble on two of the wings and just couldn...

And so today I am posting more recipes in between trying to work my 9-5 job.  As a reminder, some of the recipes are my own ORIGINAL recipes- some of which, have been published. Others are recipes that I found somewhere, tried out and decided they were worthy of reposting.  Or, I may have eaten something at a restaurant and decided to try to recreate it at home.  I promise I won't post a shitty recipe. Some are easy and some are time consuming, but if you read my cooking tips you should have no problems. Ciao Bella

I'm still  trying to figure out this obsession that Americans have with eating three meals a day. I mean, what the shit? I don't need three meals a day to survive and I know for a fact that 3/4 of all Americans definitely don't need three meals a day. Just look at their fat asses when they pass you on the street. I want to scream, "'Stop! Lay off the Chipotle and KFC you fat asses!" But, I hold it back.  Sometimes I do have restraint.  Still....it bothers me. All of those muffin tops. Good Lord. If you are going to try to cram your size 22 butt into size 12 jeans at least put on something that covers that flab! I have a wonderful family, I truly do. But the men in my family expect three meals a day. Every day. So, I've been cooking for my family for like, lets just say, 20 years now.  Luckily, the men in my family have a high metabolism and are in no way close to being fat asses but just think about it. 20 years of three meals a day. That's ...

Not only does her cooking suck, but so does her taste in lingerie!

Whipping up my version of Applebee's Three Cheese Chicken Penne Sauce Always with the bottle of white. Baking cookies at Sue's house during Christmas Break It's cookie hell, but that's ok. I have my wine. So, this year my daughter baked the gingerbread men. She thought they were rather fat so we had to figure out something to do with them. Below was our creation. Cartman the Christmas Gingerbread Man!

This has nothing to do with my cooking, but had to post this story. So, I go to Mc Donalds the other day for a quick hangover fix. Gotta have the soda and grease. It works every time. So, I go through the drive thru and place my usual order: Cheeseburger-NO pickles, small fry and a small coke....I pull around and there is a Dumb ass waiting for me with a dumb look on his dumb face and no smile. (whatever happened to service with a smile?) I smile my biggest smile, give him my money and get my change. Then the guy hands me my coke and closes the window. No Straw! I'm like, "What the fuck?" So, I rap on the window and say "Dude, can I get a straw?" Dumb ass looks at me and says "It will be in the bag." So, I say, "Dude! I want to drink my coke now, can I please have a straw?" AGAIN, Dumb ass says "It will be in the bag." Well great, so I say, "Dude, but I'm thirsty now!" He looks at me, "Your food will be ...

If someone had told me that I would ever enjoy a Little Weiner, I'd have spit my drink all over them. But... let me tell you, I stumbled across a recipe using Little Weiners and it turned out to be one of my favorites. Everyone asks for the recipe and I think you will too. Three of the best things in life are in this recipe: Weiners Bacon Sugar I'm not kidding. I will post my Little Weiner recipe under appetizers. Try it out and then let me know if you also come to enjoy Little Weiners. Oh the little things in life......