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This is Fifty!

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Well, it's finally happened. The day I've been dreading for the past 5 years or so has finally arrived. I've officially reached the age of 50. Now, before I go any further, I will say that of COURSE I'm happy to be alive. Of COURSE I know I'm lucky since there are many people who never make it this far.  Doesn't mean I can't have feelings about it.  Everybody says 50 is just a number. Like 40 was just a number. Well, I happen to like the number 24. Can I have it back?  It's hard to describe what turning 50 felt like for me.  Almost all of my friends are turning 50 this year and everybody has described various emotions.  For me my teens were my party years.  My twenties were my babymaking years. My thirties were my baby raising years and my 40's were my keep my marriage together and don't let my body fall apart years.  I never wanted to contemplate 50. I had no problem turning 30, no problem with 40, but for some reason 50 is just scary to me.