Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Chicken? Again?

So, I thawed out a pacakge of boneless, skinless chicken breasts and I'm staring at them thinking "I wonder how many more times I will have to cook chicken before I die?" Really. A hundred? Two hundred? A thousand? I'm not sure I can stand it. I really need a new way to cook chicken.  Today I was thinking maybe breaded chicken....so I google "breaded chicken breasts" and scan through hundreds of really shitty-sounding recipes, you know how it goes:  "Best EVER Chicken!"   "Most delicious chicken recipe!"  "Easy and Awesome breaded chicken!" Blah, blah, blah.

They all claim the same thing: My fucking chicken recipe is simply the best ever. Well, bullshit I say. I'm not quite sure ANYbody's recipe qualifies for that honor. I've had decent chicken in my life, but I'm sorry. No chicken meal has EVER given me an orgasm. Prime Rib, yes. Beef Tenderloin, Yes. Lobster, Oh hell yes. But chicken? UGH. So, I sigh and realize that in order to truly enjoy ANY chicken dish, I'll just have to be shit-balls drunk.

I think back to one of the last meals I ate at Applebees. Three-Cheese Chicken Penne. Now that was some good chicken. Not fucking great, but it was good. It had just enough cheese and cream in it to kill a heart patient (sorry honey) and it was pretty damn good with a glass of chilled white wine.  I spent hours and hours in the kitchen perfecting my version of this yummy dish and I think I have a pretty good clone.  I would actually make it for dinner tonight, but I'm out of wine and as much as I love my coca cola, I can't stomach the thought of eating this dish and washing it down with a can of pop. Blech. So, I will continue my futile search for some breaded chicken recipes and as a special treat to all of you, I will post my version of Applebee's Three-Cheese Chicken Penne. Look for it under main dishes.

If I happen to stumble upon a good recipe for breaded chicken, I will gladly add it to the blog later. Don't worry, I will NOT call it "The best breaded chicken ever.".....I will simply refer to it as some pretty damn good chicken and leave it at that.

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