Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Yo Quero Taco Shit?

So, it's only 8:51 in the morning and I've been doing a lot of thinking. And googling. And writing. Now it's time to blog.  This particular blog is not going to be about MY cooking, thank your lucky is going to be about Taco Bell and other shit that we eat.  The more I write, the more I'm convinced I should be drinking...because this shit is too disgusting to be real.

No, I have suddenly not become a pompous, food know-it-all and yes, I'll probably wake up tomorrow and forget all about this new crusade of mine, but for the moment..I'm going to rant. And rage.

Currently, there is a class action lawsuit alledging that Taco Bell has less than 35 percent actual meat in it's products. WHAT?

LESS THAN 35 percent meat!! What is in the rest of it then? I don't even want to know. Wait. I do. I watched the Today Show as they did a piece on the topic....Then I googled my fingers to death shortly after to look up everything they talked about. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING TACO BELL? Meatless Tacos? Meatless Burritos? What's next??? No beans????  No cheese??? Where is the BEEF I ask? Where is THE beef?  WHERE is the fucking beef?  Not in Taco Bell meat apparantely......

I find it oddly hilarious that my daughter HATES meat but LOVES Taco Bell....It finally makes sense. Loves Taco Bell...Hates meat...Loves Taco Bell...Hates meat. Now I know why. There's no fucking meat in Taco bell. That's why. Makes perfect sense.

Oh, but there is something called PINK SLIME in Taco Bell meat. I mean, un-meat.  Pink goddamn slime. Google it. Look it up.  Apparantely, our lovely governement has approved this disgusting product, labeled "Pink Slime" by a scientist, to be served to all of us! To be served to our children in their school lunches! PINK SLIME.  Google it. I dare you. Meat byproducts, treated with AMMONIA to kill the E-COLI! YUMM-O.   I bet Rachel Ray can make some 30 minute meals using Pink slime:  "Ladies and gentlemen! Today, I will show you how to make Yummy Pink Slime Sammies, in less than 30 minutes. Oh soooooo delicious. You never know what you'll get in the next bite!" 

Do people really know what they're eating? Do they even want to know?  My readers know how much I love butter and I've explained why. All natural butter. Yum..... I heart butter.....I could bathe in it. But people insist margargine is better for you...oh yeah? Look up the ingredients to margarine. Go ahead, I dare you. Margarine, the great poser.... a butter wanna be.....It's pure fucking poison....How about sugar substitutes? Google Splenda.  Do it....Splenda was a great big goof in the pesticide lab and now they serve it to you to you in a pretty little package.  Have a little rat poison with your coffee sir.

You know, there will never be a cure for cancer. And do you know why? Because of the shit the government is allowing to get into our food and water supply, that's why!! Not to mention the profits that would be lost by the drug companies if a cure were to be found. It's a moneymaker when people are sick, as a friend pointed out to me....  No wonder everyone has cancer and health problems....

And don't even get me started on all of the pharmaceuticals that are shoved down our throats. The commercials are hilarious. They almost give me anal leakage just watching them.... Makes me need a Xanax...STAT!

Have a headache? Take a pill.  Feeling Cranky? Take a pill.  Feeling Bloated? Take a pill. Feeling too skinny? Take a pill.   Feeling too fat? Take a pill.  Cholesterol too high? Take a pill. Cholesterol too low? Take a pill. Low sex drive? Take a pill. High sex drive? Take a pill.  Limp dick? Take a pill..Stiff dick? Take a pill. Want to get pregnant? Take a pill. Want to not be pregnant? Take a pill. High blood pressure? Take a pill. Low blood pressure? Take a pill......Need anything? Just TAKE A FUCKING PILL!!!!!!

They are trying to kill us. That is the deal. So, this is why I will stick with my WINE, my BUTTER, my SUGAR and my WHOLE BEEF TENDERLOINS. At least I know what the hell I'm getting!!!

Rant over.  I will blog about my food again soon.

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