Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Move your Fat Ass over Rachel Ray!

So, I have decided that I am going to host a cooking class. Kind of like a cooking show, I might even have someone film it. BUT, I will probably drink lots of wine first, so that when I drop something I can randomly scream "Fuck That!" and then throw shit all over the kitchen.

That is the kind of cooking show I want to watch. Not this bullshit where Rachel Ray balances 500 ingredients on her fatass grubby arms and walks around yelling "sammies" and "yummo". Fuck that bitch. I want to see her drop some shit! Trip on something. Liven the show up Bitch! Ugh. Had enough of her.

Maybe I can wear a shirt like Giada does, you know, to show off the boobies.
That's the only reason people watch her. They could give a flying shit about her goddamn ravioli. Chef Boy ar Dee I say. Nobody needs Giada for ravioli! They just want to see her boobs!

So, I'm going to host a cooking class. I already took a poll and it looks like everyone wants to come! It will be fun. I will pass out shots and teach EVERYONE how to carmelize onions, press garlic and burp like a man!

Seriously, it will be fun. I'm going to cook 2 or 3 of my favorite pasta dishes. They are kick ass, so it's a good place to start. If that goes well, then maybe I'll have another.

If you like this idea, then please...HOLLA!

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