Wooden Spoons and Chardonnay

So, today has been a smelly shitfest of bunches of shitty things. What shitty things do you ask? Wellllll, let's start off with Chicago O'Hare. Chicago O'Hare has got to be THE giantest vagina of vagina airports. It constantly closes. Today at 11:04 a.m. a moth farted. It did. And the airport shut down. It fucking shut down. I had 8 calls in a row with people stuck all over the Northern Hemisphere who were trying to connect via O'Pussy Hare. Because of the moth. Ok, so maybe it wasn't exactly JUST a moth. There was a storm. OMG. A storm. So the airport shuts down and basically fucks up EVERYBODY's day. Especially mine. You have no idea how many people I said, "Just cool your heels and have a drink" to....I did. And mostly they agreed..... At the end of my shitfest of a day, I decided to walk to my mailbox and see if the 3 million dollar check I've been waiting for has arrived and take my stupid dog with me. Well, I poured a glass of wine and wa...

Sadly enough I have to report that I rarely cook anymore.  Why you might ask? Well, because my husband is now a Vegan and I'm not. End of story. Well, so maybe I lied a little bit, I guess you can say I do still cook. I just don't cook anything edible. At least not to normal people. I can't express enough how sick I am of beans, rice, tofu, pasta, vegetables, potatoes and wraps.  That's all I ever cook anymore. So, what do I eat? Toast, usually. It's sad, sad, sad. Someone needs to come and take me out to dinner. For a real dinner. I'm hungry. So, I really loved this blog and no longer want to ignore it, but since I don't cook anymore, I'm not sure what to do about it. Then I looked at the title again. Wooden Spoons and Chardonnay.....Wooden Spoons and Chardonnay...hmmm....I supposed I can call this a blog about drinking wine and maybe stirring it with a wooden spoon...or drinking wine and beating people with a wooden spoon.  Anyhow, it got me to t...

I have nothing to say about food tonight because I'm only drinking. I made my hubby some horrible smelling Tuscan White Bean soup and he's actually eating it right now. I had a cheeseburger with no pickles and a value fry from McDonalds. It was pretty shitty. I'm just excited  I have a new follower, so I had to acknowledge it.

As promised, I will begin posting recipes submitted to me by fans and friends.  The first, submited by Sandra Misiolek, will be posted shortly. Thanks Sandra! 

Since I'm in this cooking funk, I thought I would reach out to my fellow bloggers for help to keep this site at least a little bit relevant toward cooking and good recipes. If YOU have an awesome recipe, you know the one where everybody asks you to bring it to their party or cookout and you inevitably spend 15 minutes writing it down and passing it out? Please share it with me and I will post it on the blog.  I am going to add a new category called "Fan Recipes" and I will include your recipes and include your name and location.  (with your approval of course) So, dig into your recipe boxes and email me some of your very favorite, no fail recipes. You can email them to sue.zambo@yahoo.com .   I look forward to an email box overflowing with your culinary creations and if you can't be bothered to send one, well then you can just piss off and choke on the next thing you make. (well, I hope you don't choke but you CAN piss off."

So, just when my blog started to become popular I realized that I never cook anymore. As a matter of fact I rarely even eat anymore. I'm in such a funk. I miss cooking and talking about it.  Now that my husband is on this shitty Vegan, but worse than Vegan diet, I rarely eat and I feel terrible because I have no idea what anything I'm serving him tastes like. Imagine this. I used to cook some fabulous meals. Delicious meals you could buy in a restaurant but maybe can't afford to do all the time, so I would research the recipes, copy them and recreate them at home. Cooking and drinking were my two favorite things to do. Well, beside sex, but you get my point. Now, I have to watch every little thing my husband eats if I want to keep him alive, which is why I started a new blog called "I have to cook WHAT?", and it's REALLY hard. I mean how many fucking things can you do with beans and rice? Not a whole hell of a lot. Ditto that with soy meat, soy milk, soy y...

I cook a LOT of shit with cheese, butter and wine.  Just sayin.