Saturday, July 31, 2010

Wings, Dings and Other Things

So, again I am going to post something totally unrelated to my cooking, but funny as fuck.
So I figure, who gives a shit. I'll still post recipes and in between, I'll tell funny stories.

Met some friends tonight for some drinks and I actually ordered some food. Not that I'm a restaurant food snob or anything like that, I just don't normally eat things other people prepare....I'm odd like that. Not in a "straight jacket" kind of way, but still. I like to know where my shit comes from.

So, I order, get this, a Philly Cheese Steak Platter AND 6 Teriyaki wings! Holy shit. LOL. Too much food. I manage to choke down the cheese steak, which actually had some good meat. The fries were cold as shit and I had to go in search of my own ketchup. Who the hell gives someone a platter with fries and doesn't set a fucking bottle of ketchup on the table? UGH.

So, after I demolished the cheese steak platter, I managed to nibble on two of the wings and just couldn't eat anymore. So, I figured I'd take the rest home for the kids.... So, I motion for our waitress....I really didn't tell you what a skanky whore we had for a waitress, so I guess I'll start by talking about her now.

She kind of looked like Hulk Hogan, only with giant ass titties. But ugly titties. And she reminded me of another wrestler, but I don't remember his name. Let's just say, she had long, snarly hair, giant boobs, a shirt way too small and a face only a monkey's mother could love. So, she comes over, FINALLY, and says "Hon, (chomp chomp) Are ya dun wif dose wings? Hmmmmm" (kinda like Billy Bob Thorton in Slingblade...)

And I'm like, "um, yessir. I mean, ma'am. I'm done. But I'd like a box, I'll take the leftovers home to my kids."

I'm not shitting you. My best friend Adriann, sitting right beside me heard the entire conversation and so did Jill, to my right. So, this trailer trash waitress with the gigantic scary boobs, takes my plate of wings and proceeds to throw them in the trash.

I'm like. What the fuck? So, I look around to see if anyone else notices, because my jaw is kind of on the floor, but I'm trying to be cool. In a Sue kind of way cool and Adriann says, "Did that bitch just throw your wings in the garbage?"

"Uh, hell yes....But she brought you a fucking box for your wings!"

What the fuck am I? Chopped liver?

So, hearing all of this, the girls we were with yell "Hey! (to the manager) that waitress THREW OUR FRIENDS WINGS OUT!! Get her some more wings!"

LMAO. The manager comes over and apologizes and says "I don't know what happened. SHE IS REALLY GOOD!."

I look at him and say "I can fuckin see that!"

So, I got a free order of wings to go.

Well, I thought it was funny anyhow.

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